don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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