I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
