They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize