it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
