He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
