You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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