Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
