I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sext me about skeletons
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
