I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
