you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize