I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
