Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
