when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
