I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize