so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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