I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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