he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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