Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
