the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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