I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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