well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
