Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
