Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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