But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
