My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize