jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
