Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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