can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have already put on my inside pants.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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