So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This is the high leading the old right now
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
