Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
