He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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