chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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