Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
