Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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