for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
