oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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