Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we're making bets on your personal life
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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