What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
