Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You ate ashes out of my bong
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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