The best revenge is premature balding
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
