We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you still have your period?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hippo gnu deer
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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