help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
