That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
