: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's blow job season.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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