the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
