she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
