Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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