Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
