it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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