Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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