Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
