dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Rumble strips road head = magical
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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