grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize