i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
