Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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