there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
