dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize