I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
