so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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