I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
